The following blog post was written by Heather, a female inmate, for Volume two of the I Am Beautiful book series.
The writings throughout this book series are the original work of the brave women inmates who courageously submitted their stories and art. Our goal is to present their work in their voice.
I’m dying inside–you say I must be strong.
Better days are coming, but miserable nights are much to long.
I barely had the time to start to catch my breath before
The ringing of a telephone summoned the knowledge of your death.
The hurt hangs heavy, despair hovers over my head.
Satan taps me on the shoulder saying, “Don’t you wish you were dead?”
People walk right past me and don’t see this look in my eye.
Deep inside is the urge to just give up the ghost and die.
I lost my mind the moment that they laid you in the ground.
In the day I wander aimlessly and at night I jump at every little sound.
The devils is closing in; I feel his demons all around
I’m afraid they’ve taken me to places I wish I’d never found.
I am your child and from your flesh and blood I come.
Same attitude same lifestyle same obsession with this filthy game.
Now it finally hits me; you’re never coming back.
I’m stuck in this world with no one, with everything I lack
God closed your eyes and took you and your spirit out to sea
But he forgot the child that softly whispered,
“My Lord, what about me?”